Relationship Building with Teens

My 18 year old asked me last night if she could go swimming at the beach we were vacationing near to. Off course my first thought reaction was ” is she crazy, people don’t swim at a beach at night”, but then I recalled my wonderful memories of my youth doing that very thing, and how delightful it was. So I let down my overprotective guard a little and said why not! I even suggested her younger sisters go along for the experience and due to the location of this particular beach I watched over them. The novelty was over after 15 minutes and all were happy for a new experience.

Loosening up on our rigid limits, letting go to spontaneity, allowing a little flexibility on our norms to have some fun with our children can be very healthy and relationship building.

Can you recall a time when one of your children dared or asked you to do something out of the ordinary and potentially fun and you were resistant? I encourage you to step out and allow yourself to indulge a bit. You only stand to gain! Take time to recall YOUR youth days and the fun, daring things you did….without your parent’s consent! So indulging your children in a few little simple daring activities, consenting, can only benefit the relationship and not harm it.

Besides a swim at the beach in the dark (there was some light from a nearby lamppost btw), we had ice cream before dinner, what’s the big deal? We were driving back from sightseeing and we were passing the ice cream shop, rather than go back there after dinner it was logical to stop and have ice cream first…. we are on vacation… it’s no big deal… again it’s out of the ordinary and the kids are amazed to see such flexibility and letting go of rules for one day in a year…’s nice to hear them say ” you are so cool mom”!  Wow I was really daring. I also jumped off some highish rocks into the sea that they were jumping off from. Dad surveyed the territory first to ensure it was safe.  Another cool mom thing to do…especially at the age of 56!

I’d love to hear of your safe and daring fun things you are your kids/teens have been doing this summer. Feel free to share.

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