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Are you searching for parenting tips? Practical ways to manage your children’s or students behaviour? Or to get insights as to why children behave the way they do. Well you have come to a good place to get that information. You will get more than that too. You will even get insights on adult human behaviour.
I have loved Psychology since my teen years and psychology is about understanding human behaviour. So let’s dive in and explore some parenting tips.
One of the most common challenges I believe parents face is that of Power Struggles. Dealing with the strong willed child and just being ignored by children when a parent makes a request.
Rule #1: make as few demands and commands as possible: save them for emergencies or moments when there is no debate.
DEMANDS AND COMMANDS CREATE RESISTANCE! you are setting yourself up to lose when making demands and issuing commands. Sooner or later they will defy you, they will be bigger than you and you will be powerless to do anything about it.
Hooray! an alternative is at hand! Offer choices. There is magic in offering choices. However there is a rule about offering choices: only offer 2 choices that will make you completely happy, choices you are totally ok with. Offer choices for the most simple things, like ” Would you like milk or juice?” ” Would you like to do homework at this desk or on that table?” “Would you like to have a story before prayers or after?””Would you rather mow the lawn or rake the leaves?” ” Would you prefer to do the dishes now or in half an hour?” You get the idea?
Offer lots of choices when things are calm throughout the day. See them as making deposits into a bank account. This is very important because sooner or later you will have to make a withdrawal, you will have to make a demand and if your child feels like they have had a lot of control because you have let them make a lot of choices, then they will be much less resistant to following your demand. When kids have to consider various choices they develop good thinking skills, they have to consider and evaluate the consequences of the various choices. This is great training for life.
Warning!, some children are determined to have absolute power and resist choosing, if this happens, do not offer choices for that particular issue, experiment using it in other less important behaviours. Here is an example, one of my daughters at 3 yrs of age, was determined to not choose between 2 or even 3 different outfits to wear. She was set on choosing her own and none of the ones I offered. I was destined to lose so I knew rather than be a loser, I would never offer choices re clothing. I was successful however when I offered choices in other areas like choosing story books, choices in food or snack items, games to play etc.
Hope this helps to lessen some conflicts and resistance. Feel free to shoot me questions and share your stories for further clarification. I’d love to support you!